Maybe this post won’t attract as much attention as those on twin flames and soul mates, which may or may not, actually be a healthy relationship!  I do think it is very important to know what is healthy, if your relationship is not, maybe these are points you can start with.  I have read a lot, and have seen a lot, of twin flames, or soul mates, who will justify other’s behaviors and allow themselves to be destroyed by someone because they are your soul mate, or twin flame.  SELF-LOVE, that is what we forget in these situations, and that’s pretty much all I have to say.

These are things you can only change about yourself.  You cannot change another person, without the express free will and desire on their part, and then THEIR ACTION, to change.  The best person for you to worry about is yourself, because you can change yourself.  If your relationship is not healthy, you have a few choices.  You both work TOGETHER on it, or you don’t engage in the unhealthy behavior.  And sometimes it does mean that the nature of the relationship must change, or the relationship needs to end.  Yes, I said…end.  Relationships are not a failure necessarily just because they change or end.  It may not be that simple to do, but in theory, it really is that simple.  🙂

Do you have……

• Mutual respect
• Moving towards unconditional love and acceptance
• Realistic and accepting of faults and imperfections, not overly romanticized
• No ignoring and no need to chase, no running
• VERY LITTLE emotional abuse, verbal, or physical ( abuse is not ok, that being said, we are not perfect, it is not abuse just because you disagree)
• Very little ego games and emotional manipulation
• Willingness to learn and understand the other, compassion
• Commitment in some form, effort is shown and reciprocated
• Allows you to grow individually, not only when together, relationship is a priority but does not take over your life
• Agreements are kept
• You can say no!
• They act like they care and so do you! It is nurturing, comfortable and fun
• Emotions are dealt with in a real way, no need for drama, conflicts and differences are managed without major despair and threats
• Communication of wants, needs, feelings without shame
• Honesty
• Compatibility
• You are BOTH healthy enough to be able to love (ex:  someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol has no business doing anything but turning an immediate emergency supply of love to themselves, FIRST)
• You don’t need the relationship to be happy or a whole person.

If you want a relationship like this, BE the person you wanna SEE.  It is mostly about your ability to BE love and a loving person, when you are able to do this, and love yourself, you will attract someone who can mirror these qualities back to you, eventually!