Qualified, Genuine, & Talented Psychic? How to Find One

| victoriazaitz

How do you get a good quality reading from a real, talented, genuine, and qualified reader?  There are so many elements that I think are very important to consider when choosing someone in this field.  I am not proud or happy to say it, but the field in which I work is filled with charlatans, frauds, and people who really just want to make a buck.  There are people who are deliberately fradulent, and there are people who are genuinely in it for the right reasons, but may not be very aware of what they are doing. Especially when ego gets in the way, and this field can have plenty of ego.  Examples of possible good intentions but not a very good reading are: selling you advice-column information, esoteric gobbly-gook that requires a new age belief system to accept, and/or personal biases and opinions.  The scale is grand, ranging from deliberately lying to you–to people who are very good at what they do.  I have encountered quite a bit of everything (although I have to say, people who are very good at this I have personally found to be very hard to find, maybe it is hard to read for a reader?  LOL)  There are some things that you should consider when choosing a reader.

Things you absolutely should never accept:

  • People who tell you there is a bad spell or joo-joo hoo doo, or bad energy etc,  on you that only they can remove with a large chunk of change, or tell you that you are possessed and only they can right your ills, anyone requiring any large sum of money from you for any reason. These people prey on fear and will tell you anything to get your cash.
  • Ridiculous claims of accuracy or incredible powers (changing your reality FOR YOU.)  No psychic, anywhere, ever, is 100% accurate.  These numbers are pretty much a marketing ploy.  Anybody who says they need your money to remove “bad” things for you or improve your life by bringing back your ex-lover, guaranteed, is giving you a lot of crapola. And, NO ONE can do the work that you need to do in your life for you, there are no shortcuts.
  • Are they more focused on themselves then they are on you?  Readers who talk about themselves in readings, other than very briefly to illustrate a specific, related point in YOUR life—basically like to hear themselves talk, while you pay them to sound important.  There are other ways, though, that it becomes more obvious that readers are more concerned about how they appear rather than the quality of the work they do (which should speak for itself.)  These include: showmanship, name dropping and linking themselves with famous people, and a less than humble attitude.  Some have gone so far as to bring camera crews (and, their “help” unsolicited by the families involved) to scenes of crimes to garner attention for themselves.  Generally any signs that you are dealing with a larger than life ego, are signs that you are dealing with someone who is more concerned about their image than what they are providing for you, and this is a big stumbling block (similar to what is often found with ‘gurus’ that have ego issues.)
  • A “one size fits all” reading that a reader simply regurgitates to everyone.  I have gotten a “cut and paste job” email reading from people before that I found suspect, only to google one or two phrases to see that this is the same reading the reader gives to EVERYONE.  I have sat next to people at events who market themselves very well, and have heard them give the exact same reading to every person in their seat.  Every person’s situation, although we are a lot a like on the inside, is their very own.  True intuitive information will not be the same from person to person.  It is specific to YOU.
  • Personal biased opinions.  You go to a reader because they have the ability to use their intuitive skill to help you.  This means we have to turn off our left-brained tendency to judge you, and not give you our personal opinions.  Intuitive guidance is never judgmental.  Here is an example.  Let’s say hypothetically a reader is personally against inter-racial relationships, and you are in one.  Their intuition is not going to tell you to get out of it because the reader thinks its bad.  But their ego might.  That is an example of personal bias getting in the way. You can have all the good intentions in the world but if you are not aware of how your ego and your own biases and personal psychology can get in the way of your intuition, you are not a qualified reader.

Things that make a GOOD reader:

  • Personal recommendation and word of mouth.  If the person comes recommended to you by someone you trust, chances are they will be able to help you.  (Although , this is not always the case, it is a good bet.)  This says volumes more than any slick website, nice marketing campaigns, good charismatic personality, sales or business tactics.
  • Are their prices reasonable?  People who just want your money, and also, are full of themselves, will have outrageous prices.  They may also try to sell you things you don’t need (buy my other services, products, etc., that you do NOT want or need.)
  • They know their field, whether it is tarot, mediumship, or whatever system they are using to work with you.  A good tarot reader will not open up a book and tell you what the cards mean by reading from it.  They should have a grasp of their tool.  However, their reading should not just be about the symbolism, it should be directly applicable to your life.  A good reading can include esoteric information, but I personally think that stuff is better learned in a class (because it is general and not specific to you or your reading.)  A reading is specific to YOU, it should not be a lot of “filler” information that is general and could apply to anybody.

Things that make a GREAT reader:

  • Experience.  How long have they been at their craft?  There is nothing wrong with people who are new, but the more experience the person has, the more comfortable they will be with their own ability, and the more experience they have had dealing with all kinds of people, situations, departed loved ones, etc.  They also understand their own symbols, ways of working, and are better equipped to interpret what they receive.  Education in their field will help them to be a better reader, but actual years of experience says more than all the classes taken, teachers had, and books read.  In this case intellectual knowledge is meant to assist practice and experience.  The best learning in this field is acquired through practice.
  • The person very seriously makes spiritual practice a part of their life.  This may be hard to ascertain, but if there is any information available about them on the internet, they should mention somewhere, that they have some sort of spiritual basis and practice.  I don’t care what it is, what religion or system it is, as long as they have one–you are ensuring a few things.  One–they are more likely to have, at least in theory, some system of ethics that they follow.  Two–that they are doing their own spiritual work on themselves (so important, for reasons I will explain further another time.) Especially, a meditation practice, as this is very important for the work that we do for so many reasons.
  • Do they have a reputation for being honest and genuine with people?  Honesty–many readers will tell you just what you want to hear.  They may not even realize they are doing this, because they genuinely may care and want you to feel better.  But if all you get from a reader is nothing but good news, this is just not in any way realistic.  Just because someone comes off as love and light does not mean they are honest.  There is, of course, a difference between empowering a client with honesty and removing a client’s power with honesty.  A great reader will know how to be honest in the right way.
  • Are they compassionate?  You would be surprised at how many clients have told me that even if they went to a very talented reader, if they are lacking in people skills and just don’t seem to care, how unhelpful that attitude is for them, and how much they wish they had someone more caring.  And they will go to the person who genuinely connects with them.

There are probably a million more things to say and I will update this post as I think of them.  As you can see, it really is a lot of hard work (mostly on yourself) that is required to provide a quality reading for someone.  Following these items will help you to get the best, most professional reading possible.

Meditation–Tips for Success!

| victoriazaitz

Please see my other articles under the category of meditation for information about the benefits of the practice and information for beginners.  In addition to my work as a psychic medium, I also take people through guided meditations that are customized personally for your needs (whether it is for meeting your guides, releasing an emotional issue, or just simply to relax!).  I also teach meditation and coach people in meditation, helping them to fit meditation into their life.  And that is one of the most important parts–making meditation a habit!  Here are some pointers to get meditation to work for you!

1: Carve out a meditation time and stick to it—AM or PM is fine.  Do not do more than you can reasonably fit into your schedule.  In the beginning it is more important that you do it, preferably every day—rather than how long your session is.  You can start with 5 minutes per day then gradually increase to 10 minutes, 15 minutes and 20 minutes.

2: Choose a practice that you like and/or change it up.  It is important that you enjoy your meditation practice especially in the beginning.  It is great to stick to a certain practice for a period of time to gain a deeper understanding of that method, but it is not good to become bored with or disinterested in your practice, so make changes and experiment when necessary.

3: Do yoga or stretch first. Physical activity will draw your own awareness into the body and away from your mind. A practice like yoga loosens the muscles and tendons allowing you to sit more comfortably. Additionally, yoga opens the body not only at the physical level but also at subtle level, which facilitates movement of energy in the body.

4: Pick a specific location in your home to meditate. Ideally the place you choose will be somewhere that does not have much activity at other times. Two reasons for doing this are, the subconscious is conditioned by repetition, so by going to the same place at the same time each day to meditate you can get yourself to expect to meditate when you are there. The second reason is that when you meditate you begin to create a particular vibration in that spot. With time, the space  will become increasingly attuned to this energy of meditation, again making it easier for you to meditate when you are there.  However, do not feel that you need this in order to meditate.  Meditation can be done anywhere, anytime.

5: Make sure your meditation time is respected. If you live with others make sure that they understand that you are not to be disturbed while you are meditating. Make the same commitment, for example if your phone should ring, be aware of it and continue your meditation.

6: Create some representation of sacred space in your meditation spot. This should obviously be what is meaningful for you, maybe an actual altar with pictures and objects, or maybe just a special rug and your meditation cushion.

7: Use ritual if it helps you. This doesn’t have to be elaborate it could be as simple as lighting a candle, or a lighting incense. The repetition of a ritual before you meditate, is again conditioning preparation for your body and mind.

8: Commit for the long haul. When you begin with the clear idea in your mind that the greatest benefits from meditation will accumulate with time, and get easier with time, and see it as an ongoing process, you are less likely to give up in frustration.

9: Meditate with understanding. Get clear in your mind exactly what you think meditation is and what it will be like before you start. Invariably everybody has ideas and expectations, it is very helpful to make them conscious before you start.

10: Be clear of your motivation to begin meditation. When you understand your reasons and objectives in beginning meditation you are more likely to find a practice or technique that will work for you at that time.  You can also convince yourself of its importance by studying the benefits of a regular mediation practice and support this conviction through the use of positive affirmations.

11: Begin with a particular practice that you have actively chosen and commit to doing it for a given time period.

12: Educate yourself. Confusion and misunderstanding is primarily caused by ignorance. Find a good teacher, or online community where you can get answers. Read some books on meditation and spiritual practice.

13: Notice if frustration starts to creep in to your practice. If you notice this happening take some time to explore what is going on for you, what expectation is not being fulfilled. Then examine the expectation itself and what is it based on.

14: Be prepared for some discomfort. It is normal in the beginning to experience some physical discomfort when sitting to meditate. Most people are not accustomed to sitting still, other than maybe slouched on a couch. Your body needs time to develop strength and openness in the right places to allow you to sit comfortably and alert. Sooner or later discomfort will also be experienced at the emotional and mental levels (emotional clearing.) If you are not consciously prepared for this it is likely to deter you from continuing.

15: Until you are well versed in your meditation practice it can be very beneficial to use a recording to guide you (and/or to make use of a meditation guide to guide you through the process.) This will help your mind to let go of concern about what you are doing, and the recording or personal guide can act as a guide until you no longer need it.

16: Start to look for moments of awareness during the day. Finding space to be consciously present during everyday activities is a wonderful way to evolve your meditation practice. Take advantage, of the time spent waiting in traffic, waiting in line, waiting for anything, to become present to yourself and what you are experiencing within yourself. Look for such opportunities in your day, however brief, simple as they are, can radically change your experience of life.

17: Do it together. Meditating with a partner or group can have many wonderful benefits, and can improve your practice. When meditating with others many people say that it improves the quality of their meditation. However, it is necessary to make sure that you set agreed-upon ground rules before you begin.

18: Don’t stress about it. This may be the most important tip for beginners, and the hardest to implement. Many people in beginning meditation become anxious about whether they are doing it right or not, or whether something they experience should be happening or not. In meditation it is important to accept and work with the experience you ARE having, rather than the experience you THINK you SHOULD be having.

19: Invest in a good, comfortable meditation cushion. If you need other things to allow your body to sit comfortably in without strain, get them. If you set yourself up with the things that you need, you are removing a future potential pitfall to your practice.

Many of these tips are originally from here, but I have placed my own little twist on these suggestions.

Happy Meditating!  OM 😀

How to Find a Loving Relationship

| victoriazaitz

Many of my single clients ask me when they will find a partner or how to meet their soul mate.  Many of my female clients speak of feeling an intense desire to find this, particularly if they are reaching the end of their childbearing years.  Definitions aside, what I think people are really looking for in a “soul mate” (beyond a good parent for their offspring) is a healthy, loving relationship, with a person who is a good fit for them.  A totally understandable and very normal  human need.

However, sometimes this human need does have origins and elements of personal issues that need to be worked out.  My intuitive insight is specific for each person, of course, but generally, my first point of advice is to get a handle on any feelings of desperation.  We do spend a lot of time trying to find happiness outside of ourselves, so a big consideration is just being happy with oneself, which is the journey of all of us, really.  This is definitely not something that will generally be encouraged by a culture constantly telling us that the breakfast cereal we eat or the car we buy will magnetize someone to them–a la Axe Body spray.  The general message is one of buy more stuff, or focus more on your personal appearance, and this in turn, makes you happy and therefore attractive to others.  In the new age and spiritual community, the take is different.  Since the law of attraction has hit our culture, we may think that through the power of desire, intention, acting ‘as if’ you already have what you want, creating your own reality through your thoughts, and affirming and visualizing your way to what you want can make it happen for you just like magic.

Let’s look at this law of attraction from a different angle.  If you are in a state of desperately searching for someone, constantly trolling online dating sites to exclusion of other daily functions, and are so worried that you will never find that person, you are focusing on what you feel to be is a very large LACK.  You are focusing negatively on what you do not have and are expending a lot of emotional energy fretting and writhing. Law of attraction aside, I think mostly what this achieves is a state of frustration.  It may not be easy but the first step is to stop the desperation, stop the worry, and even, stop incessantly looking.  If you want to make the law of attraction work for you, and go about your life in a healthier and happier way, then you must examine those feelings of desperation, understand where they are coming from, feel them, and resolve to release them and move on.  Notice I did not say, lock yourself in a closet and repeat “I have found my soul mate, I have found my soul mate,” until you are blue in the face. Any amount of repeated positive affirmations is not going to do squat for you if somewhere in there, in your energy, you are truly, unhappy with yourself and incredibly desperate to fix this through the “other.”

As a psychic, to me energy is everything.  Many people are surprised to find out in readings that energetically, what they thought they were “over,” and had never processed but merely shoved under the rug, is still there.  In some ways, what you resist, do not allow yourself to experience, and suppress, persists.  Clients who are truly interested in finding out where they may be blocking themselves and who do the self work to release these blocks, are going to progress much faster than those who do not wish to deal with their pain, their suffering, their traumas, their childhoods, their emotions, etc.  This is not to place blame on yourself if the partner of your dreams does not show up tomorrow.  But in truth, the only control we have is over ourselves, and our own happiness.  At any point, we can start that process.

The best advice I have, rather than spending your money on books and programs that promise to bring your soul mate to you, is to concentrate on yourself.  This seems a little counter-intuitive, but, it works.  Take an honest look at yourself.  Are you happy with who you are?  Are you still carrying negative self talk in your brain?  These issues are all very important, irrespective of your search for a partner, and these are lifelong issues to consider.  However, working through things and becoming happier, and loosening your grip on your “must have a partner” mantra is going to help you attract just what you need, and learn a lot along the way.

What do I mean by this? I mean be the person you want to see and to attract.  We are in constant relationship in our lives, to our pets, to the planet, to ourselves, to our bosses, to everything.  By being the “change you want to see,” you are  improving your relationship with the entire cosmos.  But cultivating a good heart vis-a-vis ALL of your relationships, you are raising your vibration, and by raising your vibration you are happy….no matter who or what comes along, or doesn’t. 🙂

Raising your vibration and clearing your baggage also does attract a new energy to you.  It makes it more likely that the kind of person you want will find you.  Of course, we can’t be doing it just for that reason.  We have to do it for ourselves.  This is a process of SELF-LOVE.

How can we do this?  By developing your most cherished talents and abilities and giving these back to the world.  Look at your soul—who are you?  What are you here to give to others?  What makes you excited and feeling good about your life?  One little secret is, that by feeling purposeful by helping others, and by giving, we receive more than we could ever imagine.  Go out and pursue the things that interest you.  Get involved with others.  Give what you are meant to give to this world to make it a better place.  Then guess what happens when you are an animal lover and you decide to start volunteering at your local animal shelter?  Not only are you happy with the time you are spending in your life, you are also around others who love animals as you do.  You connect more with those who are on your wavelength.  You feel less isolated, more purposeful, and happy.  And then one day…..you make friends, and you find your awesome animal lover dude, or dude-et!

Work through your blocks and work on your issues and “stuff.”  If you need help, ask for it.  It is often very helpful to work on understanding and releasing things with a therapist, with a friend, with spiritual practitioners.  Specifically, work on being clear of your relationship baggage. Let go of the past!! Be ready to open your heart and love again!  Many of us, because of tough experiences we have had, close down our hearts.  We try to protect ourselves from the love we want because we fear pain.  But, pain is a part of life.  It can strengthen you, and you can grow from those experiences.  You would never be the person you are now, without having gone through everything that has been hard for you.  Does this mean that once you open your heart again, that your relationship will be pain-free and that person will never hurt you? No, that is not possible.  You will be hurt.  But you will also love.  If you don’t take the risk to love, your heart is hurting, you are disconnected, you shut down, and you do not allow the love that you want. How’s that for a regret?

You can also have a spiritual focus and be authentic in your life.  This helps you to deal with challenges that come your way.  Being yourself, a life-long lesson for many, can bring you so much happiness in itself.  And if you are not yourself, and are living someone else’s life proscribed for you, then how can you expect to attract anyone who can see the real you?

Listen to your intuitions about people and follow them!! But note, that we don’t listen to our intuitions in order to be pain-free.  There is no such thing as pain-free.  Stop looking for that, it is not realistic.  But you can listen to what your heart is saying.  And, allow yourself to get really clear on this.  Do I want this, or don’t I?

Intention, visualization, affirmations, etc can help but YOU must be ready on a soul level, YOU must do the work.  Having an intention that is positive is great, but intentions must be backed up by actions.  Visualization and affirmations are great, they are tools you can use to affirm the work you have already done.  But the work happens inside you.  There are simply, no quick fixes, magical cures, spells, potions, prayers, or mojo that is going to do your work for you.  No psychic in the world is going to re-unite you with your ex, or do some hocus pocus on you that is going to solve your problems.  I think that what the law of attraction does, is attract what is resonating with your energy, and your energy is deeper than a 5 minute affirmation.  You must believe what you are affirming, truly, deep down in your guts.

Finally, believe that it is possible, and let the universe do the rest.  Let go, and trust that what you need in life, comes to you in the way it needs to on the time schedule that best suits everyone.

Elements of a Healthy Relationship

| victoriazaitz
Maybe this post won’t attract as much attention as those on twin flames and soul mates, which may or may not, actually be a healthy relationship!  I do think it is very important to know what is healthy, if your relationship is not, maybe these are points you can start with.  I have read a lot, and have seen a lot, of twin flames, or soul mates, who will justify other’s behaviors and allow themselves to be destroyed by someone because they are your soul mate, or twin flame.  SELF-LOVE, that is what we forget in these situations, and that’s pretty much all I have to say.
These are things you can only change about yourself.  You cannot change another person, without the express free will and desire on their part, and then THEIR ACTION, to change.  The best person for you to worry about is yourself, because you can change yourself.  If your relationship is not healthy, you have a few choices.  You both work TOGETHER on it, or you don’t engage in the unhealthy behavior.  And sometimes it does mean that the nature of the relationship must change, or the relationship needs to end.  Yes, I said…end.  Relationships are not a failure necessarily just because they change or end.  It may not be that simple to do, but in theory, it really is that simple.  🙂
Do you have……
  • Mutual respect
  • Moving towards unconditional love and acceptance
  • Realistic and accepting of faults and imperfections, not overly romanticized
  • No ignoring and no need to chase, no running
  • VERY LITTLE emotional abuse, verbal, or physical ( abuse is not ok, that being said, we are not perfect, it is not abuse just because you disagree)
  • Very little ego games and emotional manipulation
  • Willingness to learn and understand the other, compassion
  • Commitment in some form, effort is shown and reciprocated
  • Allows you to grow individually, not only when together, relationship is a priority but does not take over your life
  • Agreements are kept
  • You can say no!
  • They act like they care and so do you! It is nurturing, comfortable and fun
  • Emotions are dealt with in a real way, no need for drama, conflicts and differences are managed without major despair and threats
  • Communication of wants, needs, feelings without shame
  • Honesty
  • Compatibility
  • You are BOTH healthy enough to be able to love (ex:  someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol has no business doing anything but turning an immediate emergency supply of love to themselves, FIRST)
  • You don’t need the relationship to be happy or a whole person.

If you want a relationship like this, BE the person you wanna SEE.  It is mostly about your ability to BE love and a loving person, when you are able to do this, and love yourself, you will attract someone who can mirror these qualities back to you, eventually!