Tactics of Escape: Spiritual Bypass

| victoriazaitz

Often when we have a lack of acceptance in the conditions of our life, the challenges we face, the emotions we don’t want to feel, the reality we don’t want to see, the healing on ourselves we don’t want to do….we face the temptation of spiritual bypass.

Spiritual bypass is a tactic of escape.  And one that does not work, really, because ultimately if we are truly doing spiritual work on ourselves, the truth always comes out.  The feelings always come up.  The issues become exposed and the dirty laundry is aired, at least to yourself 🙂 But instead of welcoming the clearing or healing process, we think we are making a mistake, because we don’t “feel good.”  This is where spiritual maturity comes in.  We are spiritually mature when we understand that we do not need to constantly chase down the “feel good” feelings.  That no matter what is happening, we are always connected to Source, pain and all, and that we can handle facing the reality of our lives rather than escaping.  And we connect to whatever help we may need in doing that.

All true change comes first through acceptance and awareness of what is happening NOW.  Spiritual denial occurs when we try to use spiritual practices, spiritual principles which are mental ideas or constructs, to deny and avoid our human experience, our pain, our issues, our emotions, our past, etc.  An example might be not “allowing” emotions to come up in meditation because we are supposed to “clear our mind of all thoughts.”  Or thinking that “anger” is not a spiritual emotion, therefore we must repress it.  Or reading spiritual books and gathering information intellectually without actually applying principles to the circumstances of your life (intellectualizing.)  Even going to many psychics until eventually the “right” answer (read: easy answer) is given.  Our egos can also get lost in our ideas of ourselves and our spiritual identity to the point where we think we are “too advanced” to make mistakes.

Spirituality is not a drink you can take or a drug you can ingest to “think positively” and keep all your real problems at bay.  It is truly a deep look at self and requires a good amount of honesty, self-evaluation, humility, and willingness to do the healing or emotional clearing work that is needed in order to grow.  That includes making changes in our lives when changes need to be made.

Have you ever wondered why some “spiritual” people are just cruel, mean, selfish, living in their head concepts and not their heart, or seem to make the same mistakes as everyone else, even with all of their book smarts, classes taken, gurus followed, daily yoga or meditation practice?  This is why….being spiritual or religious does not necessarily make one a better person or develop traits of character.  You have to be willing to have the courage to do the work that a spiritual direction CAN and really should lead you towards.  That being said let’s end this on a positive note:  if you are going through a spiritual process, awakening, healing, ego death, re-birthing, etc:  do not try to bypass what may be the difficult parts of the journey.  Welcome it as your teacher, flow with the changes Source is birthing through you, accept your humanness and imperfection, seek support so you are not alone, release the idea that you must appear to have it all together in your spiritual community, and use your spiritual tool kit as a way to support you along the path, not to bypass the beautiful journey that it is.  ❤

Don’t forget, sale until Jan 1st! :)

| victoriazaitz

You can see the sale here: https://victoriazaitz.com/home/discount-programs/   Some clients have asked me if they have to have the appointment scheduled by Jan 1st–NOPE!  You can purchase the sessions for yourself or a gift for someone else, and they can be used at any time—they never expire, and you can use the time however you want by splitting it up for short readings, etc.  If you have any questions feel free to ask me 🙂  Bright Blessings for a wonderful holiday season and a peaceful and loving new year!!! XOXO, V

Guest Blog Post: The Magic of Synchronicity

| victoriazaitz

Today my guest blog post was published on the Magic of Synchronicity, you can check it out here:

http://thecolormage.com/2014/12/15/the-magic-of-synchronicity/

I am also having an awesome sale until Jan 1st. Check out the sale prices here:

https://victoriazaitz.com/home/discount-programs/

Soul Mates and Twin Flames: The Runner and Chaser Dynamic

| victoriazaitz

Hi ya 🙂  Wanted to put together something very quickly to help people understand the dreaded, runner/chaser dynamic in soul connection relationships.  It is applicable to all soul connections and is actually more prevalent in them.

For anyone who says this does not exist or is only something a false twin flame or false connection would do, that is just not true. It does exist.

The runner and chaser are roles that occur interchangeably for each side of the connection. Usually one person will predominately run (typically the masculine energy) and other will predominately chase (typically the feminine energy)  But they can switch.  The key thing to remember is that this is largely an unconscious pattern, making it conscious and learning how to eliminate it and do NEITHER will go along way towards making progress, either in the relationship or in the personal growth of both sides.

So what is a “runner?”  Runners and chasers, really, are actually doing the same thing.  They are running away from themselves.  Runners are not running away from you.  They run away from what they see reflected back at them, through you.  They run from the things they don’t want to see, they don’t want to do, they don’t want to change, and you bring that all up for them to deal with.  They may also run from the power of unconditional love, from the intensity of the connection, but they are still only running from themselves.  What are running behaviors?  Refusal to communicate when communication is needed, cutting all ties, disappearing, denial of the connection, self-sabotage in the form of pushing you away (creating really ugly behaviors to get you to run,) running back to easy or safe relationships, running to drugs or alcohol, running…sprinting….you get the idea. 🙂

The good news is, they can run from you, temporarily, but they can’t run from themselves forever.  Issues have to be faced, truth has to come out, and it will given enough time.

The flipside to this is the chaser.  As a result of the running behaviors, the chaser freaks out and tries to chase down the runner, which of course, only makes them run more.  The chaser too, is also running away from themselves.  They are running from their own uncomfortable feelings, their pain, their hurt, their sadness, their wounding from past situations.  All things that need to be cleared in this process.  So what will the chaser do?  Hound and harass with messages, phone calls, emails, even showing up (yeah, that is a lil stalkerish….don’t do it!) Chasers demand a reply, a response, to be heard, something…anything…to ease this pain (which is really, very old pain most of the time that the runner has triggered off and has nothing to do with the runner.)

And the cycle continues….the beat goes on….roles are switched, and off we go on a merry go round of hell.  Get off the merry-go-round.  Don’t play this game.

Why?  First of all, realize what you are doing to someone you claim to love.  Both extremes are not loving.  Not to them, and not to yourself.

So, chasers…let em run!  Runners, stop running and everybody, let’s take a breath and stand still for a few minutes, hours, days, months, whatever it takes. Then quit pointing fingers and laying blame, and turn within and look deeeeepp, within yourself. What is there?

1.) Love for yourself and the other person, so let’s do our best to act like it.

2)  Pain that is your very own that you can clear on your own, that the other person is not responsible for.  Pain from all the times you have ran, and everything you are running from. Pain, from all the times you have chased in order not to feel pain that has built up for years.

Now, feel it to heal it.  You don’t need to run, you don’t need to chase. You can survive this. It is love, after all 🙂  This is the point when two people grow up and start facing their issues.  The swords are put down.  You take care of your own needs.  You release your demands.  You free yourself. And you do what this connection was meant for you to do—take a look at yourself and GROW. Never mind the relationship. Forget it for now.  Focus on you.

Best advice ever–focus on you.  🙂